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    March 14

    爱与被爱之间的痛苦

            我是一个渴望爱与被爱兼备的人~!当眼前出现了在乎我的人和我在乎的人!(在乎,是按某人的说法)我茫然了!很矛盾!也许那不能算是爱!只是一种萌芽的心动!而所谓爱我的人也不能算是爱,而是一种细心的呵护,一种把我放在手心里的感觉!对于心动的人~~~我感觉不到一丝爱意!也许只是一种洞穴的吸引!我无法把心动的人说的很清楚!而对我动心的人!也许我可以说出很多!说心里话,我是一个真的喜欢被呵护,被当作宝贝孩子的人!
            在爱与被爱之间,我迷失了自己!真的很矛盾!明知道选择爱是没有结果,却有种小孩子想去探险的念头!虽然我想到了,前面就是悬崖!可以还是想抱着侥幸的心理去尝试!对着爱我的人~我有一丝不忍!或者换个说话,并不是不忍心,而是我太自私~因为我太留恋这种被疼爱的感觉,不舍得放弃,也不想失去!
            可是在这两天,我的思绪突然出现了怪异的幻觉~我觉得这个是幻觉!我总是能忽然的想到那个拿我当宝贝的人!在家上网的时候会想到他是不是也在线!在车库停车的时候会想到他的车是不是会在我的车旁边!甚至会四周的张望下!弟弟说,这是因为我缺爱的原因!渴望一个被爱的人!呵呵~我也不知道!
            一瞬间觉得那个我心动的男人和我是没有未来的!而这个一直呵护我的人很有可能会尽全力和我共度一生!
        但是一切都晚了!我知道已经伤害了某个人!无心的伤害!一切都不可以回头!只是因为一个萌芽的心动!只是为了追逐那一闪而过的感觉!I never meant to hurt you!Fell so lonely!I'm so lonely!
            电脑里放着爱我的人和我爱的人!眼泪从脸庞滑落!听了这首歌这么多年。。第一次感觉听懂了里面歌词的含义!彻底的懂了!很痛的懂了!是哦!最真的心碰不到最好的人!在乎的人始终不对!

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    常唯 杨wrote:
    不知道最近怎样?
    May 18
    tongwrote:
    我回柏林了,你自己好好照顾自己
    Mar. 30

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